Hey there Pink Lady (that is a kind of apple, see how I did that? clever your mom is!),
So I've been thinking a lot lately about the amazing women that are in your life (I have also been listening to a lot of Hole, these two things go hand in hand). I really, truly, would have been happy if you'd been a boy or a girl. And, in reality you could still come flying into our lives with boy parts! Those doctors have been known to be wrong...But baby girl, I have this feeling they were right. And because you are our little girl, I've been thinking how lucky you are going to be to have such incredible role models in your life. It is really important, now more than ever, to have a strong circle of women in your life to show you what it really means to be a woman. There are a lot of conflicting ideas in the media and in society, and who knows if that will get better or worse when you are growing up, about what women should or shouldn't be. So I am proud that you will have these women in your life to let you know what is really up. Being a girl is not defined by the way you look, the way you dress, or what your hobbies are. Your grandmothers, your aunts, your sisterhood aunts, all of the women in your life exemplify independence and confidence. They represent what being a girl is all about, the fun and flexibility that comes with it. And most importantly we will all be here for you when it gets tough, which it will, because of all the stuff out there in the world it can be hard to process and growing up for anyone can be rocky sometimes. But it will be a lot easier with all of these women there to help you out, especially when you may not want to talk to me (hard to imagine, but it may happen, or not, I am kind of spectacular!). Anyways, this whole blabbery thing is just to let you know that you are awesome and already so loved. And that I love the women in my life and I can't wait for you to meet them.
One of these women sent me a message with a bunch of questions because she said "I want to experience your reactions to life at this sacred time." And I thought you might want to know the answers some day too. So I'm going to answer them here! So this is for you Carrie, one of the coolest women in my life.
How are you feeling?? I am actually feeling kind of amazing. They say that this trimester is like the honeymoon, it's all rainbows and kittens. I reallllly didn't believe them, because I wasn't feeling so great. My body ached, I couldn't sleep, I was getting so big so fast it was a little crazy. And like, I still am having trouble sleeping, but when it comes down to it I'm having a really good time right now. Just enough energy, just enough hungry, and just enough big that I get to wear really cool prego clothes. And by cool I mean slightly ridiculous, like caftans and gingham rompers.
What is your body doing? My body is doing some crazy stuff. Holy cow. For something that happens so often, to so many women, for so many thousands of years, this whole pregnant body thing is pretty unbelievable. Like, how the heck is this belly going to get bigger? Which by the way, I'm kind of huge. Like it's a topic of conversation. Where is all that skin coming from? And why did I ever have my belly button pierced? The hole is stretching so fast and it feels like a bruise. Omygosh, is that B.O.? THAT hasn't happened since jr. high. Are those pimples on my back? Again, not since jr high! CrazY! Oh man, and there is the classic nail growth...they look amazing. My hair is fuzzy, and so is my brain. EVERYTHING is growing at an alarming rate. everything.
What patterns are your feelings forming if any? So far it seems all these hormones and changes have mellowed me out. I am on a whole different level than I was before. I have even tried to get angry, or stressed, and I just can't. I'm over it almost immediately. I have to say I am a big fan, and so is everyone around me. There was always a lot of joking about how everyone was going to have to watch out! when I got pregnant because my hormones were going to make me crazy. I like that everyone was wrong. It must be the quiet confidence that this was all just meant to be.
What kinds of thoughts occupy your days? I think about money, peeing, and what color hair/eyes you are going to have. And clothes. I think about clothes a lot. And you. Always.
Baby clothes?
Our friends inherited a bunch of baby girl clothes from someone who's daughter is now a sophomore in college. Which means a lot of early 90's baby clothes. Which of course made her immediately think of me. Which means, baby girl, you are going to be styling.
Elementary schools? We drove by the elementary school that you will be going to, if we don't move. And it is right next to a park. And it is cute. And omygoodness, I don't even know what color hair you are going to have but I know what school you will go to?!?!
nursing in public? If I can and not traumatize anyone, I fully will.
giving birth??
There is a scene in Roots (if you don't end up watching this in 5th, 6th, and 7th grade, we will rent (livestream? something else futuristic that hasn't been invented yet?) it for you at that point. I can't imagine growing up without this little gem being shown in school.) Anyways, there is this scene where a woman goes out into the woods and births her son. By herself. She just squats and screams and viola! That is all I can think of when I think of the actual birthing process. That and Kourtney Kardashian's birthing episode on Keeping up with the Kardashians (p.s. yr mom is a pop culture geek).
when your next cocktail will be??? I can't imagine when...but when it does happen it will be a bloody mary.
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Ok, baby apple girl, that was quite long winded. If you come out babbling like I did your dad is in for a very loud household. On the other hand, if you come out quiet like your dad, you are going to have to ask your dad how he handles all my chattering.
We love you apple baby, see you soon.
